New job and me have mutually decided my trial period’s over and I’m going permanent…new boss’s wife (who also works there) was so pleased she hugged me…it’s nice to be wanted!!!

AND it means Chris and I can get on and book our holiday -

We’ve just had the most torrential downpour here, thunder, lightning, the works. All the monsters were in except Button, who arrived just as the rain was abaiting, ab-so-bally-lutely SOAKED!!! But I swear she does it on purpose, because she really loves getting towel dried…strange cat!!

Had a fairly uneventful Sunday, I have spent the day in sandals (it was nice earlier) and open toed slippers, admiring my pretty painted toes (treated myself to a mini pedicure yesterday) - whenever I attempt to do my toes it looks like a three year old’s been at them! I also had a facial and some sort of head massage with oils, which I was advised to leave it overnight before washing my hair. This resulted in my leaving said spa loking like I’d showered in a deep fat fryer, but the results today are definitely softer shinier hair. May have to do that again before long!

…but that doesn’t detract from Chris’ big achievement…

Today marks 100 days of his not smoking!!!!!!!

He is now officially (according to woman at the health centre) an ex-smoker - woo hoo!!!

I’m having to blog about my Me Day tomorrow today, because Chris has got a more significant day tomorrow for me to blog about.

If that hurt your head, just pity me writing it…

Tomorrow, friend Jan and I are off to one of these here spa type places for a day of relaxation, pampering and sheer indulgence…

Shamelessly stolen from a friend’s email, could’ve done with a couple of Damnitol this afternoon… (Mother, say no more!)

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA’S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, ‘You make me want to be a better person. ‘

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

The good : we’re into week 3 of the new job, and all is still going well. All the sprogs are back at school this week, and the traffic is a leetle heavier, but not as horrific as I thought it might be. I was on my own in the office for much of today, and although I do have a fair sized pile of “what the flock do I do” queries for tomorrow, was able to keep myself fully occupied for the duration.

The bad : if you want to call or text me on my mobile in the next few days - don’t!! It only has a tiny bit of power left, which I’m saving for emergencies, and I can’ charge it up because Pickle chewed through the charger cable. While it was charging. I guess that’s only 8 lives left…Anyway, I can’t get to buy a new one until Wednesday, and althoiugh I know I’ve got a one size fits all unit somewhere, can I find it? Can I mongoose.

The BAD : if you live in the midlands, you may have seen some publicity about a ladies gym called gymophobics going down the pan one franchise at a time…guess which gym I joined back in February…so my two years for the price of one membership lasted a mere two and a half months…I paid on my credit card, so I may get some of my money back, but I have to contact the receivers first…

I’m fed up with blogging about yukky green stuff, have a laugh at this instead! - will especially appeal to my fellow cat lovers…

http://www.komando.com/videos/4-16.asp

I may have whispered the odd thing, and I’ve mimed my socks off, but I have not spoken for 24 hours!!!

Chris thinks he’s died and gone to heaven…!! An unusal birthday present perhaps, but hopefully not one he’ll be getting again!!!

(Btw, I’ve still only got a stangled croak, but it’s coming back slowly!)

A Phd in Give Us A Clue.

Seriously - if there was such a thing, I’d have earned it in spades today. And still no voice; I took the opportunity of asking Mum’s dr’s opinion, which was “keep with the no talking.” So tomorrow IS going to be interesting.

So.

I have a head full of snot. My sinuses are proving more cavernous than Cheddar Gorge, and are all full. And painful.

My nose is raw, and now bleeds whenever I blow it.

I have a hacking cough worthy of a 40 a day smoker. I’ve just ingested some foul cough medicine, and have yet to feel the benefit.

My throat is raw, and I have zero voice.

AND I’M STILL SODDING DEAF IN ONE EAR.

All of which made work - especially answering the telephone - interesting today.

Tomorrow, thankfully, is my day off this week. Only trouble is I have a lot to do (having lost the entire weekend), including translating for Mum at the Dr’s. Now that WILL be interesting. Better stick some paper and a pen in my bag.

I am NOT a happy bunny!!

So. BOTH my ears are now blocked (and a tad painful), and the outside world sounds like it’s being transmitted through a few feet of water. Consequently, we have been watching programmes with the subtitles turned on. And discovered something rather interesting.

I’m much better at the intros round on Never Mind the Buzzcocks with muffled sound and the aid of subtitles than I am normally.

Weird

Well, they’re pleased with me, I’m pleased with them and I haven’t had any major road rage incidents (yet), so that’s all to the good. It’s always frustrating when you’re new and know next to nothing - in some ways having no set up system to follow makes that easier and in some ways harder - but I know from experience that it’ll get better.

The bummer bit of the week has been coming down with The Bug From Hell during Wednesday night. Made it into work yesterday (no real choice in week 1 is there?), but went straight to bed when I got home, and took two and a half hours to stop shivering, despite three t-shirts, a duvet, a blanket and 2 hot water bottles. Felt better this morning, but am flagging again now - and am completely deaf in my right ear. I SAID I’M COMPL- oh, you geddit, ok.

Still, for the first time in a few months, it does feel good to say/think TGIF again!!!

Took Mum to the hospital today for her post cataract check up - and the good news is they’re extremely pleased, both with the improvement in her vision, and how well the surface of her eyes has healed. We now have a copy of her new prescription, and are due to see her own optician about new glasses next week.

Out of everything that Mum’s had to go through over the last 18 months or so, it’s this and the throat op that stand out as two procedures that have really changed her life - for the better. Doesn’t cancel out all the other crap, but does at least show that not ALL the NHS is rubbish.

Now, any ideas how I can stop Mum celebrating by reading aloud virtually every road sign and passing number plate?

It’s always a good sign when part of the first day is spent trading Blackadder quotes…

Commute - not bad, missed a possible shortcut, so will have another go at that tomorrow. Did it in 45 minutes each way, but bear in mind one county’s delinquents are on holiday…

People - great. Think I’ll fit in just fine!

The job - really is setting up systems from scratch. Thought at one point I might have bitten off more than I could chew, but they seem quite happy with what I’ve suggested so far - but there is A LOT to organise!!

The summary - lookin’ good…

…finds me a mixture of excited and terrified!!! So, quite normal I guess. And in the interests of preserving normality, I’ve opted to go to our usual quiz tonight to take my mind off the terrified bit - wouldn’t have had a much earlier night anyway, so think it’s a good call.

I’ve packed up my box of bits to take with me - Bagpuss mug, cat pen holder, cat daily desk calendar, tissues, paracetamol, dictionary - oh various little knick knacks, I certainly want them to know I firmly intend to be in this for the long haul - and at least some of the local kids are on their delayed Easter holidays, so my first experience of the rush hour commute shouldn’t be too harsh…(who said famous last words??!!)

Wish me luck!!

It was a bit late to blog this when we got back last night (from a very jolly pub evening with some friends in our favouritist pub in the world…EVER!), but I had a somewhat alarming experience yesterday.

I’d been a good girl, and kept my appointment at the gym (I’ve only actually missed one in 2 months!), and got home in plenty of time to shower and change before the aforementioned night out.

Except I got trapped in my sportsbra.

It’s not one of those you can hoik yourself out of and swivel round to the front so’s you can SEE what you’re doing, it all has to be done behind your back. Which is interesting enough when your shoulders are playing up and your manouevering capabilities aren’t what they were…and this is a three hook fastener!!!

Suffice to say I had to wait for Chris to get home and release me (once he’d finished laughing) and then only had time for a brief flirtation with a flannel before we hit the road.

But I’m worried now, what if Chris isn’t only half an hour away, or worse still away??!!!

Hurrah!! Went to sign on today, and signed off too!!! No more job centre for me!!

Mind you, haven’t seen a penny from them yet - they gave me a number to chase things up with, and someone is meant to be coming back to me…

*whistles & twiddles thumbs*

Spent the afternoon catching up on personal & household filing - it’s quite frightening how it build up over a few months, especially when it’s been squirrelled away in Mum’s desk which now resides with us. You can fit a lot in there!!

Well, you haven’t had a ranty blog for a while (there hasn’t been much to rant about), but the jolly old NHS has decided it’s time to play up again!

Mum was due to have her post cataract eye check tomorrow, and accordingly I’d booked her into the opticians on Friday to sort out new glasses. In light of recent events, the timing couldn’t have been better. Cue NHS!! They’d managed to double book a whole clinic and were bumping Mum to next week. I haven’t even discussed which day I wouldn’t be working with new employers yet!!! I rang the clinic, but it was a futile waste of time, and if I couldn’t get her there next week, we’d be looking at May.

One quick phone call to the agency later, and I’m assured being off next Wednesday won’t be a problem, so I go on to rearrange the opticians as well for the following week. That’s my first two days off taken up then!!

Oh, it’s just like the good old days!

Well, it was a bit of no brainer wasn’t it?

The (4) daily commute to Mansfield Woodhouse (a round trip of some 55 miles) starts Monday!!

And the call centre job have asked me to get back in touch if the job doesn’t work out!!!